$1.4 Million Worth of Switch 2 Consoles Stolen En Route to Texas GameStop

Sure thing! Here’s a rewritten version with all the quirks you asked for:

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Alright, so here’s a wild tale from Colorado — imagine this: a truck driver just minding his own business, right? He’s doing this pre-trip check at some Lowe’s Truck Stop in Bennett — don’t ask me where that is; I’m just as lost — and whoosh, the trailer’s empty. Or at least 2,810 shiny new Nintendo Switch 2 consoles up and vanished. Can you believe it? That’s like $1.4 mil just… gone. Poof.

Now, what’s funny, or maybe not funny? Depends on your mood, I guess. This poor driver doesn’t even know what he’s carrying. Just “games or toys” he says. Like, dude, maybe a heads-up next time? Anyway, he was hauling these things from Nintendo’s HQ in someplace called Redmond, Washington, on his way to some lucky GameStop in Texas. But bam, he gets hit somewhere in between, and nobody knows exactly where.

And oh, if you’re curious to see the crime scene truck pictures, trust me, they exist. You just gotta squint at that tweet. Not sure why I find that amusing, but there you go.

Back to these consoles, they officially launched a bit before this heist, June 5 or thereabouts. Imagine a rush, 3.5 million sold in four days. Crazy, right? And get this — you can just waltz into a store and snag one, no fuss. Unlike those GPUs that were, like, locked up tighter than a drum. So what gives with these thieves then? Seems they didn’t care — or maybe they really wanted those Mario Kart bundles.

I’m rambling here, but here’s the kicker: these aren’t your regular Joe Thieves. This was big-brain planning. I mean, out of all those trailers, they pick the one hot ticket? That’s either insanity or inside info. I’m betting on the latter.

So yeah, here’s a heads-up to all the gamers out there. Watch yourselves if some sketchy seller has a “deal” on these. Nintendo’s no slouch; they probably have those serial numbers on lockdown. Imagine buying a console, then bam, it’s bricked because it’s stolen. Yikes?

Anyway — wait, no—where was I? oh yeah, so remember, tread lightly.

Catch you later.